Lord Alfred Douglas skrev om ”the love that dare not speak its name”. Men hur kan kärlek mellan två personer av samma kön upplevas som hotfull? Michel Foucault resonerar på följande sätt:
One of the concessions one makes to others is not to present homosexuality as anything but a kind of immediate pleasure, of two young men meeting in the street, seducing each other with a look, grabbing each other’s asses and getting each other off in a quarter of an hour. There you have a kind of neat image of homosexuality without any possibility of generating unease, and for two reasons: it responds to a reassuring canon of beauty, and it cancels everything that can be troubling in affection, tenderness, friendship, fidelity, camaraderie, and companionship, things that our rather sanitized society can’t allow a place for without fearing the formation of new alliances and the tying together of unforeseen lines of force. I think that’s what makes homosexuality ”disturbing”: the homosexual mode of life, much more than the sexual act itself. To imagine a sexual act that doesn’t conform to law or nature is not what disturbs people. But that individuals are beginning to love one another — there’s the problem.*
Kanske är dessa tankegångar den verkliga förklaringen till att vissa motsätter sig en könsneutral äktenskapsbalk. Att tillåta homosexuella handlingar är en sak; att på vilka villkor släppa in homosexuella i det sociala livet, i familjer och vänkretsar, i kyrkor och rådhus, en helt annan. Som sagt:
But that individuals are beginning to love one another — there’s the problem.
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* Från ”Friendship as a Way of Life”, i Ethics: Subjectivity and Truth (s. 136—137).
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